Sunday, February 26, 2017

Spider Baby (1967) Retro Movie Review (Public Domain)



This was a lost film for most of its existence. Lost films happened in many ways. Nitrate film stock used before 1952 is flammable causing film fires wiping thousands of films off the face of the earth. Fox had a big fire in 1937 wiping out their film vault and MGM had one in 1967 taking out many early films. Most film buffs have at least heard of Metropolis (1927) which was lost but found early in the new millennium. Most studios didn't then have a way to monetize movies after their theatrical run until TV, home video and art houses came around. So there was little interest in preserving or storing them, even though a copy of every film since 1909 was to be preserved in the Library of Congress. Interesting to note Lon Chaney Sr. film London after Midnight (1927) is also on the lists of lost films even though through promo photographs they have reconstructed the entire movie from stills. Luckily for us, this movie miraculously was released on VHS in the late 90's, when an owner of a television station in Finland realized the rights had lapsed allowing him to sell copies of the reel he had.

Spider Baby Trailer YouTube



Spider Baby had a rough go of it from the start. Starting with a minuscule budget of $65,000. Causing it to be filmed in black & white. Even though since Technicolor 'Process 4' came out in 1932, color films had become the standard. Televisions since the mid-fifties had color available. For budget reference, The Night of the Living Dead (1968) had a budget of $114, 000. So Spider Baby was made for little over half of what George Romero scraped together. The interior scenes were filmed in a warehouse in Glendale California in the middle of summer with no air conditioning (studio was going broke). Which had the effect of making most of the actors look bat crazy between sweating and being a moment away from heatstroke. The viewers get the sense that Lon Chaney was going to mentally snap at any time. After the studio went bankrupt it sat for several years before being released with little fan fair. With several name changes The liver Eaters, The Attack of the Liver Eaters, Jack Hill's Spider Baby, Cannibal Orgy, Or the Maddest Story Ever Told it never had much of a chance and the lyrics in the opening don't make much sense unless the movie is named Cannibal Orgy.


At the time of its release, the most famous cast member was Mantan Moreland who starred in many early comedies as a house boy, manservant, or chauffeur playing a stereotypical character. Mr. Moreland broke many barriers for black actors but the style of comedy he was known for was quickly swept under the rug after the civil rights movements in the 50's. 



Lon Chaney Jr. was mostly known for low-budget horror movies and as the guy that played the Wolfman. Even though his father had taught him make-up, strict union rule prevented him from doing anything with it. Watch some of Lon Chaney Sr.'s films, the level of horror he brought to the screen with no help from CGI, modern camera tricks or sound is remarkable. There was a huge gap in the world of horror movies for make-up, from Chaney Sr. to Rick Baker in the seventies. A piece of horror movie trivia is Chaney jr. is the only person to play all four of the major Universal monsters on film.


Sid Haig gives a standout performance in this movie. Still very bald (didn't that guy ever have hair?). But wandered in bit parts as a heavy for forty years until Quentin Tarantino and Rob Zombie came calling. Looking at his list of credits he literally played a bad guy on every TV show in history Star Trek, Six Million Dollar Man, Dukes of Hazzard, and A-Team to name a few. But he, like the director, wouldn't be appreciated till many years later.



Jack Hill wrote and directed many of the well-known exploration movies in the seventies Foxy Brown, Coffy, The Big Bird Cage, Switch Blade Sisters and The Terror (with Jack freaking Nicholson and Boris motherfing Karloff). He said just as long as he put blood, violence, and nudity in the films the studios would allow him to add intelligent ideas and concepts in the films. Hill left movies all too soon cause the movies the studios green lit for him weren't exactly what he wanted. His student film 'The Host' (1960) is well worth watching. The only place to find it is a bonus feature on the Switch Blade Sisters DVD. Francis Ford Coppola said 'The Host' was a major influence on the last part of Apocalypse Now (1979).




The movie tells the story of a family chauffeur that made a death-bed promise to the head of the household to keep the family together and hide their dark secrets. A family that has skeletons in the closet, bed, basement, and dumb-waiter. Caused by a disease that runs in the maternal DNA that causes members to regress after the age of ten to a primitive state. The chauffeur played by Chaney is barely hanging on to his own sanity. Having to take care of covering up the transgressions of the household he is slowly being tasked with more and more hideous chores. When into the red with no warning, distant family members come sniffing around hearing rumors of a family fortune.

Spider Baby Full Movie Public Domain YouTube


There is a reason this film has grown a huge mass cult following, with only being available in the last twenty years, missing the building a fan base over most of its early life-like most films, it's very well done. Rated a seven on IMDB and 100% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. The 2007 release has some cool special features namely the early 2000's premier. Sadly Lon Chaney, Mantan Moreland and Jill Banner (played Virginia Merrye) all past a few years after the theatrical release of the film. Any aspiring filmmaker should watch this film to see what is possible with no budget and twelve days. It's entertaining from beginning to end. The only real knock is towards the end the make-up they used for Uncle Ned, makes it feel like they had no budget or time. Still not as bad as the tall alien at the end of 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' (1977) seriously what was up with that dandy long legs alien? That's not even the worst thing about that movie, family man Roy jumps on a spaceship and no one is like what about your wife and kids, he doesn't think to ask how long this trip to another galaxy is going to take or when his family should expect him home, Roy is clearly the villain of CE3K and a deadbeat dad. Have fun with this goody but an oldie and don't be a bug caught up in a spider web! Whatever you do, don't play the spider game........




Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Strange Invaders (1983) Retro Movie Review





This movie used to be a staple on late night TV. Saw it again on one of the free movies channels on cable. Sad that a number of movies disappeared from theaters all too quickly. While some of these like 'The Big Lebowski' (1998), 'Shawshank Redemption' (1994), 'Fight Club' (1999), and 'Office Space' (1999) got a second life through social media, older movies sometimes never had a chance. Short theatrical releases, along with name changes as it went region to region, marketing got dropped to save money, causing confusion and not being released in some areas altogether. These old movies tell a story in a different way, they didn't have CGI, big budgets, or sometimes completed scripts, the pace is slower with less action. Studio meddling was all too common leading to post production edit hack jobs that left incoherent prints to be shown in theaters, 'Once a Time in America' (1984) or any Sam Peckinpah movie are good examples of this. Only after being re-edited for home video were these movies watchable. Even successful movies a different version is better to watch providing a fuller story like the European version of 'Vanishing Point' (1971). With all that being said, there is plenty of entertainment value here.



Viewers will recognize a few well know actors. June Lockhart, the mother from Lost in Space has a small role as do a few others. Michael Lerner was the Senator in 'X-Men: Days of Future Past' (2014). Half the fun watching these old movies is trying to remember which tv shows and movies you've seen the actors in. Nancy Allen is the best-known actor and should have been in more movies, but you know, Robocop two and three would've killed anyone's career. Mel Gibson was rumored to be up for the male lead. Whatever you think about the guy he is a great actor, very interesting to watch. The casted lead Paul Le Mat is boring. Most of the scenes in New York could have been cut or made to include Allen would've been a more enjoyable film to watch.

Watch Strange Invaders Classic Movie Trailer


In the movie, Paul was married to an alien and never knew. Apparently, the difference between blonde ditz and a never been to earth before alien isn't too much of a difference for Paul to notice. Of course, this is the same guy who never tries to clean up his apartment, drops his kid off at his drunken mother's apartment to take off cross country after his disappeared ex-wife. Now, most guys I know if they got sole custody of their kid and ex-wife left the planet they would be very happy. Get a wish from a magic genie and only wish for a 'cold beer' kinda of happy. But nooo Paul needs to track down his missing weirdo ex-wife. Of course, if he stayed at home we wouldn't get to see the aliens kick his ass. But his bestie gets it, giving the viewer one more reason not to like him. Can you tell who I rooting for? During the day this film was made the woman couldn't be the heroine and aliens couldn't be portrayed in a sympathetic light, be an antihero, or have a noble cause for coming half way across the galaxy to Earth. Woman have to be saved and aliens are evil. The fact Ms. Allen could slap Paul around easily sort of ruins the illusion of the damsel in distress.



The special effects are great for the time the film was released and holds up well. The alien makeup is worth the use of the virtual rewind button even by today's standards. Many of the movies from this time period used cheesy FX, make-up and bad stop motion that makes them almost unwatchable. The spaceship does looks like it was borrowed from the Flash Gordon movie. Almost expected a Birdman to come down on a hover cycle to get into the action. Maybe give Nancy Allen someone to ride off into the sunset with. Because you know she's not shacking up with Paul. But this is an enjoyable movie. The freaks they meet along the way keep the movie entertaining and watchable. Seriously if this movie was made in the last decade the director would have found a way to kill off Paully and make the awesome Ms. Allen the hero. Throw some Jiffy Pop on the stove, pop open a can of Tab and enjoy this forgotten nugget from the grainy fuzzy coked-up early 80's.