Border Brothers (2017) Movie Review

 It's a film about the grown up son of “Dude” from The Big Lebowski. It has some great cameos from John Goodman and Jeff Bridges. The young Dude decides to pass the J and get off the couch, making a sticky icky run to Mexico, where he mistakenly brings back two brothers named Joel and Ethan. And if you believe that Rickey Bird Jr. would like to talk to you about an investment opportunity in a movie called MachineGun Baby being produced by Menahem Golan.

Border Brothers Trailer YouTube

No, seriously, Brian (not the son of the sultan of slack, though he could be) runs a pool service. His life sucks, on the wrong side of life, dating an Oildale Debutante who is sleeping with his worse, and one of his last, customers. While Brian is fishing out used condoms of 'El Negro Diablo's' pool he is serenaded by his tube top wearing, huffy riding, sleeve job giving girlfriend's moans of 'demasiado grande de fierro'. At the same time, his competitor is heckling him and stealing all his customers, including dear old mom. The life of Brian takes a series of events to become the Messiah drug pimp of Bakersfield.

Oildale debutante checking her leaky pipes YouTube

Written, directed and produced by the Hectic Films cartel out of Bakersfield CA (if you have been paying attention, every time Hollywood needs a town to make fun of, hello Bakersfield). If you watch a Korn video, you can see Rickey's house. The Bakersfield film mafia has been making hazy brown cloud movie magic for over a decade. Spoiler alert they don't film in Tijuana, the town and air is much clearer than Bakersfield. If people in Tijuana were given a choice of staying there or moving to Bakersfield with papers but having to live in Bakersfield for the rest of their lives, they would choose to stay in Mexico. They don't leave Oildale to film except to get a clip on the 101.

Korn Oildale YouTube

They are a dedicated bunch no matter how many times they get shut down by break-ins, equipment thefts, brown clouds, valley fever, Oildale Royals, booze shortages, drug shortages, sand storms, strange new STD's and drive by’s (seriously who would live there, it's not a prison, anyone can leave and never go back, who in their right mind would stay in the central valley) they still just crank out good movies… even if Rickey has to force his son to work on these films (all little Rickey got out of it was a crappy sound tech credit)

Oildale Royals YouTube

It's a film that is more appreciated after watching Gods of Egypt. It’s a film with a budget of one hundred and forty million dollars and Rotten Tomatoes has it rated sixteen percent fresh. Someone must have slipped a bag of cash to get the rating that high. The movie is so bad and makes no sense. The chariot pulling fly things go from sixty miles an hour to a complete stop without slowing down, letting Geezer Butler step off the green screen, like me strolling out of the bathroom in the morning. After watching Gods of Egypt, I rate this Border Brothers movie a full bucket of popcorn! Border Brothers is a fun movie that will convince everyone that some people should stay behind the camera… well, for that matter some ideas shouldn't be made into films. A great film that would make PC Principal pop a blood vessel, Roger Ebert would call waste of film (screw him, he gave Deuce Bigalow, Joe Dirt, Dukes of Hazzard, Tommy Boy, Resident Evil, and The Water Boy all zero stars and it's all digital now anyways! Plus he wrote a Russ Meyer film), gives moviegoers a better option than Gods of Egypt. Plus your ticket purchase goes directly to supporting the crack addict that keeps stealing all of Hectic Films (or HF because abbreviating worked so well for KFC, maybe because after sixteen years there's no Hectic left in HF?) sound equipment. So, you could either donate money to Sally Struthers to feed.... well Sally Struthers or support struggling crack addicts. Your call.

Watch Border Brothers and other fine Hectic Films movies

A Familiar Spirit (2016) Review

While Halloween is still three months away, Hectic Films isn’t willing to wait to wet the appetite of the horror fans out there!

A Familiar Spirit is the newest in an ever expanding list of indie film magic that Hectic Films has been putting together while breaking barriers that have long since defined the film industry.

This isn’t your normal cut and paste horror film based on a single style of filming. It bleeds over and oozes through multiple camera uses, movements, and styles. From the security cam footage to the amazing and genius “Jack Dog” shaky cam, you get the emotional pull of being in the scene without that motion sickness side effect when a film tries to use it for the whole movie. 

A Familiar Spirit is based on actual events from Bakersfield, CA. One of the oldest historical areas of Kern County, Oleander has been said to still hold many of the souls that made their lives there, long after their bodies have been returned to the ground and their voices slowly forgotten.

Chris Kovacs plays Jim, a grade 'A' ass-hat of a boyfriend who decides to set up security cameras in the hopes of catching a local thief in the act, even though he should be doing it to get justice for his girlfriend Cynthia who was injured by the vandal hurling a rock through their front window. 

Chelsea Newman absolutely nails the role of Cynthia, the terrified girlfriend who wants nothing more than to leave, but who begrudgingly tries to hold it together in a world where the things of nightmares are slowly starting to seep into the waking world.  

Erica Rey also shines in her role as Samantha, the sexy roommate who is not your cookie cutter horror movie bimbo. She has a dark fire in her eyes and sarcasm that slides off her tongue so perfectly it leaves you wishing she had more lines in the film. 

The story follows the three of them as they each deal with the horrors of a haunting in their own ways. From the denial of Jim, the reluctant acceptance of Cynthia, to the nonchalant “Deal with it” attitude of Samantha we get to see just how the human psyche absorbs and handles reality when everything we have ever known is challenged and ultimately shredded by the whispering of spirits, the playing of poltergeist, and the terror of manifested demons. 

Just remember, Familiar Spirits can be called anywhere, and may show up at any time. So as the lights dim and the screen lights up with the Hectic Films logo, you might not want to concentrate too hard on that shadowy movement you just saw from the corner of your eye. 

A Familiar Spirit will have a Special Screening at Heroes & Horror Con III in Bakersfield, CA on September 10th, 2016

You can check out the event pages by clicking the links above.