Showing posts with label slasher. Show all posts
Showing posts with label slasher. Show all posts

Friday, December 2, 2016

Skinned Deep (2004) Movie Review


The funniest thing about this movie the guy who played "The Brain" got the role by agreeing to run through Times Square naked. This guy thought 'no way in hell the producers of this low budget film, who are operating out of a van down by the river, will ever come up with the money to fly me and cameraman out there to film it'. Well, he ended up getting accosted by a bunch of old ladies while he was running through Times Square naked, who turned out to be undercover cops. The second thing is that very toned leg coming out of a very tight short leather miniskirt IS NOT Female! Warwick Davis is entertaining, way too big for this movie, and accent was out of place! It's weird to have this inbreed family in the middle of nowhere to have a member with a thick English Accent. Even weirder is his weapon of choice.

The heroine is a very pretty one and done actress. I'm always amazed when I see a talented actor or actress but they only did one movie than they disappear. No one thinks of how long it takes for a movie to make it. Especially a pasty D&D fanboy living in mommy's basement, but think they have their own place cause they have a whole level to themselves except for laundry days, creepy weirdos that watch this type of movie. Once a low budget gets made, travels the film festival circuit, gets picked up, has the distributor adds a nude scene or two, then releases it on VHS or bundles the rights with a couple Cirio H. Santiago films to be shown on late night cable. Couple years later the right people start noticing the film and want to cast the actress in their film. But she is now married with children and embarrassed about the "artistic" film she did in college. Even well known widescreen releases don't cause good actors don't break out right away, Kevin Bacon went back to small acting parts after Animal House (wonder why Friday the Thirteenth got such a big name.... he was still a starving actor), Rose McGowan went nine years after Encino Man (she was the actress that did the body art on the sliding glass door at the end) before Generation Doom came along. Not saying any actor in this movie is good enough to be in another one, just the actress was a couple levels up on the old Dante meter than the rest of the cast. Definitely a level or two above being buried up to one's nose in human waste with people stepping on your head.

Movies like this show talented people can make an enjoyable low-budget movie that other people besides relatives who politely nod and smile, while desperately trying to go to their happy place hoping for the horror to end. Not the horror like in horror movie but like soul sucking, never getting this hour back, want to shove a Cheeto in the their eye so something interesting will happen, or at the very least they can get out of watching the rest of the artistic expression that can't be called a movie cause the definition movie is an interesting visual representation of a great story. I hope they didn't show this to relatives if they ever wanted to be invited for Easter brunch ever again. Not saying this is a good movie by major motion pictures standards, more of this make more sense if you're tripping on acid after lobotomy surgery. God knows how they got Warwick Davis to be in this movie. He must be into some sick twisted stuff to be blackmailed to do this sick twisted movie.


Just something about an inbreed, backwater family, that have enough mental issues to make Dr. Phil go screaming buck naked down the street in the middle of the night, makes for great low budget horror or X-Files episode. There are more than a few scenes that will leave a scared image on the brain, and a few others that leave the watcher more confused than a millennial stuck in a panic room with a rotary phone. But anyone watching discount bin trash like this already has a few mental issues......

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Volumes of Blood: Horror Stories (2016) Review



Verite Cinema has a new holiday horror movie for you to snuggle up in front of the fireplace with. Volumes of Blood: Horror Stories is the sequel to 2015's Volumes of Blood, an indie hit that redefined how to create an original idea within an old genre.

Volumes of Blood: Horror Stories steps up the kills to keep your cravings for carnage nourished. You won't have much time to sit back and wish for more from this buffet of blood, it comes full force and spooned right into your horror loving soul. 

While the kill scenes may be a little campy from time to time, you probably won't mind, because they have hidden many a horror fan easter eggs throughout the film. If you're watching with a friend, you can quickly glance over to share a knowing smile, or ridicule them later for not noticing something!

The dialogue in the film is better than most Hollywood films when it comes to being witty. I think even Shane Black would be hard pressed not to want to write down some of the lines for use later.




The stories all take place in and around a single home. Such as the first film centered on a single library location, only this time the plot jumps back and forth between timelines. While it can be a bit confusing at times, by the end of the film you will be completely caught up and in the know. Some stories are stronger than others, and for me personally, the current timeline lacked some of the punch of the past storylines. Also, for those who missed out on the first film and are starting off with this one (you're not doing it right) just remember that the first act is purposely hokey, so hang in there cupcake, the carnage is coming!

One thing that really stood out to me in this film was product placement. Maybe I'm just getting older and more cynical, but I'm pretty sure that by the end of the movie I had memorized the phone numbers for a cleaning service as well as a realty company in Kentucky. 

All in all, I enjoyed the sequel as a fan of horror movies as well as indie films in general, and wouldn't hesitate to encourage others to enjoy it as well, especially around the holidays.

Keep up to date on the Facebook Page: 
And check out the trailer below!