Sunday, October 16, 2022

'The Black Cauldron' retro movie review (1985)

 


Before Games of Thrones and after Lord of the Rings where was The Chronicles of Prydain. Every Nerd in the seventies read this series before Lord of the Rings. Following the rise of Taran, the lowly pig keeper, In to the Chaos of the princesses, wizards, swords and the horned King. Disney purchased the rights fairly quickly. Then used that carrot to hire the next generation animation talent. Which they did, should have set up Disney for domination for the next generation.

 Unfortunately, with Walt Disney’s passing The Nine Old Men were left running the show. Walt was the visionary, extremely talented, and driving force that was Disney. The Nine Old Men were his minions, carrying out the creative out pouring. Talented in their own right but they weren’t the Disney magic. They also were used to having a wonderful advantage of being the only game in town in several ways. Not much competition for animation movies, children’s entertainment or color. Where else could one see vibrant colors? By the time work started on The Black Caldron they were well aged. The Nine Old men notably all worked on ‘Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs’ 1937. Fast forward 50 years they were past their creative prime. It might be unfair and even blasphemy to say such things. But they didn’t grow up with Black Caldron and by all accounts the attempts at bringing the characters to animation life were subpar to the next generation that was brought in to work on this movie. In reality no one was running the show over the course of almost twenty years on this project, all sorts of people were signing off on stories, character development, ideas, technology, what format to use that made little sense. And no one seemed to remember why or who made these decisions.

Don Bluth left due to creative signation, taking a number of animators with him, had a string of hits like The Secret of NIMH, An American Tail, The Land Before time before having financial problems do to several distributors and financial backers pulling out at the worst moment. John Lasseter was let go from Disney for pushing computer Animation. He ended up over at Pixar, directing Toy Story. Tim Burton who creating some amazing artwork that was turned down also left, ending up a house hold name just a few years later.

The Black Cauldron Trailer

This movie sort of became the changing of the guard at Disney. In came Michael Eisner and Roy E Disney changing the random decisions being made by anyone that walked by, lifted the ban on sequels, having screen plays written instead of a couple vague story boards (worked with simple fairy tales) less so with a movie spanning over 5 books with a cast of 30 characters, focusing on more grown-up entertainment.

The Black Cauldron is an enjoyable movie. Stripped down to a few characters, having a boy, girl, black caldron and the Horned King. The animation is very Disney, the story moves quickly due to trying to fit so many elements of the first two books. While it fails to capture the saga, it does unfold a good little movie. If marketed better and released in the mid seventies instead of a decade late it could have been a decent hit. Being stuck in development and trying to use outdated format with several methods that didn’t add much or work out that added to a ballooned budget of 44 million. The Great Mouse Detective that was release one year later had a budget of 14 million was considered a hit with a million less dollar opening weekend.



 

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

'Naked Zombie Girl is Back' Movie Review 2022

 


First there was George Romero, then Lloyd Kaufman followed by Fred Olen Ray, backing Sam Raimi. Now there is Rickey Bird. It doesn’t matter how woke or how beta society becomes there will always be lonely, deviant teenage boys who want to see blood, broads, and boobs. NZG delivers that.

Starring the very naked and beautiful Nicole Cinaglia in the title role. She came here to get naked and kill zombies with a chainsaw. And she’s a strong powerful modern female so she can do both. Lucky us! D.T. Carney is chasing the money she’s carrying. Luck for us he’s a dude so he can’t multi-task, so he is fully clothed for a freezing winter night. And his aim isn’t much better than a storm trooper. Normally a chainsaw verses gun battle is kinda one sided. A beretta holds nine, and a chainsaw…….. I wonder how many zombies she gets per gallon?


Special Effects are handled by Nick Reisinger. There are several close-up shots of the zombies and things being squished, popped with stuff coming out that are phenomenal. This isn’t badly lit, quick fly by, shapeless blobs that aren’t scary. But, full on, ‘that was awesome’, let’s see it again!

NZGiB Trailer YouTube

NZGiB is a fun little movie to watch in a dark place, away from your mother.  First rule of NZG is don’t talk about it or they will make you talk to a professional mental health specialist. God, definitely don’t post about it or you will wind up in Facebook jail. Quietly wait in your lair for this precious series to spawn another bloody disgusting, spartially clothed, two stroke fumed episode.




Monday, August 22, 2022

The Black Phone (2022) Movie Review

 


Low key, suttle, unassuming could be used to describe this film. From these words one might think it’s not worth watching. But these are the qualities that make it so good. And are maddening to any horror fan or director. So simple and under the radar. Most probably only checked it out for the fantastic poster and or Ethan Hawk. Why aren’t more horror movies like this not made?

 


Nothing wrong with the horrifically gawdy over the top wide release films. But for true horror fans we tend to enjoy things, with feeling, that feeling of the hair raising up on the back of your necks, jumping out of the seat, having to look away from the impending doom, yelling at the characters who want to check out noise in the basement. People say they love horror and they list Stephen King and Evil Dead. But I want to talk to people who love Peter Struab, Jack Ketchum, Robert Bloch, Dan Simmons, watch the films ‘The Host’ (2006), ‘Touch of Evil’ (1958), ‘Night Moves’ (1975), ‘It Follows’ (2014). Anyone could have made this movie on a shoe string budget. Some kids using an iPhone or camcorder. Or some college students in Michigan who hit up everyone they know for money to make a low budget horror film. Let all of us fans agree Evil Dead and Stephen King are the shit and talk about the others.

 


It added an extra layer of creepy that this neighborhood is right up the street from where I currently live. The film is a horror story before the supernatural comes a knocking. The hero has no idea why he is doing all these random things to escape and absolutely maddening he doesn’t stick to one strategy. And the Grabber is playing his own little games that only make sense to him. The Grabber is here to punish naughty boys and chew bubble gum, he’s all out of gum.

 

YouTube Black Phone Trailer

Ethan Hawke is just one of those actors that keeps showing in good movies. He has been a few big movies, but repeatedly finds good movies to be in. Mr. Hawke could be thought of a horror actor as of late but looking at his IMDB page he has been in all types of movies, indies and takes supporting rolls. Seeing interviews with actors on how all the good rolls dried up or they got type casted. But Ethan has avoided this fate, been all over the place for the better part of 40 years staring in big studio pictures and low budget indies. It looks like his Daughter Maya Hawke is going to take after her dad. She already has 25 acting credits in four years.

 


A great story, that is going to spawn a prequal and a ton of copy cats. It leaves a simple blue print on how to make a great movie. No need for quick and witty dialog, big special effects budget, traveling around the world for the perfect shot, tons of shooting locations, or make up. At the end of the day anyone in the world could have shot this in their basement. Maybe the production quality and acting wouldn’t be as good. At the same time it’s not that easy to come up with a great idea, write it into a screen play, and transfer that on to film. Writers Joe Hill (son of Stephen King), Scott Derrickson, and Robert Carhill, and a mask designed by Tom Savini, just make it look so easy here.







Monday, July 4, 2022

Bloody Hell Movie Review 2021

It was once said every movie made has the same plot; Boy comes to town, meets girl, saves girl, rides off into the sunset with said girl. Plot might be the same as every movie ever but director Alistor Grierson and Writer Robert Benjamin make this movie their own and very entertaining with that plot. There is a scene in ‘Full Metal Jack’ (1987) with the privates chanting “This is my Rifle. There are many others like it, but this one is mine”. Well, this movie is definitely Alister and Robert’s.

Rex n Rex a vet with mental health issues is just trying to stay out of trouble. But there’s Bad Rex and Worse Rex so an average boring day just trying to get a few errands done turns into the path less taken, for good reason. When trouble has other plans, it’s hard to hide for long. The little sister of fate is all to happily snipping away at the strings in front of her, while her sisters know all too well there are plenty more for her to cut.

The movie starts at a brisk pace, and never slows down. Even in the basement when it’s just Rex, without a leg to stand on not knowing what’s going on, the pace doesn’t feel slow. The viewer is in the same boat with the character unsure why he’s there and what creepy white people things are about to happen.

Bloody Hell Trailer 2021

Ben O’Toole plays the deeply troubled charming bad boy Bruce Campbellish type to a devilish T. Not taking his messed-up life the least bit serious. Meg Fraser plays the sweet and normal Marilyn Muster type dead on, but she isn’t that innocent. By the end of the movie they seem like a good couple, but going to be more than a handful to keep each other’s table manners in check and to Finnish each other jokes.

A horror film with comedic styling of the ‘Evil Dead’ (1981). If someone tries to make a horror movie without being inspired by Ash and his boom stick, I don’t want to see it. This is just a fun movie that deserves a midnight showing. And maybe even a second go around.


Thursday, April 7, 2022

Play Misty for Me (1971) Retro Movie Review

 


The film that set the standard for all deranged love stories to follow, Fatal Attraction (1987), Basic Instinct (1992), Single White Female (1992), Swim Fan (2002). Evelyn (the fantastic Jessica Walters) is a super fan of local DJ Dave (Clint Eastwood), she goes to the bar he hangs out at and seduces him into a psychotic web of chaos.

 Mr. Eastwood’s directorial debut, received critical acclaim making $10,600,000 on a budget of $725,000. Making the moving outside of Hollywood gave the first-time director more freedom to make the movie with his own vision. But more importantly shooting on site (Carmel-by-the-Sea and other North of LA coastal towns) saved money to be used elsewhere on production. Giving the movie a more authentic feel. Not only is it expensive to build sets but the look and sound “feel” is a lower quality effecting the acting on set. Payback on both movies and music always has lagged the recording quality. Watch Death Trap AKA Eaten Alive (1976) on a HD television, it feels fake. Having a classic performance by Robert Englund and directed by Horror titan Tobe Hooper it just seems like you’re watching a high school play with cheap props.

This movie still is enjoyable to watch fifty years later due to timeless quality of jazz and a great cast. Lots of Cartoons and Movies turned to Jazz to fill the background, who’s childhood memories aren’t filled with sound tracks from Looney Tunes and Charlie Brown. Jazz seems to have a larger part in this media than selling recording or tickets, sure it has been in style at certain times and parts of the country, but it’s always been the redheaded stepchild to other types of popular music.

Play Misty For Me Movie Trailer

Everyone knows about the movie star named Clint Eastwood. 1971 saw him break away from the westerns, to this film and Beguiled (great movie would love to see a remake!) and Dirty Harry. This started his impressive run as a director.

First leading role for Jessica Walter (1941-2021), more well know in 2022 for Arrested Development (2003-2019) and Archer (2009-2021). If you want to see one of the best send offs for a cast member who past, watch Archer S12 E8. She is perfect in Play Misty for Me. Sweet and innocent at first but plays crazy equally as well at the end of the movie.

Many other recognizable actors, Donna Mills, John Larch, Clarice Taylor, and frequent Eastwood collaborator Don Siegel. During this time it was common to have the same supporting cast for actors and directors movie after movie. Tv shows rotated the same guest stars and bad guys week after week. Lots of familiar faces in this movie. A classic that hasn’t stayed in the spot light, maybe once Clint stops making Oscar winning movies people will go back and check out one of his early movies that aren’t a western.

Friday, February 26, 2021

Willy’s Wonderland (2021) Film Review

If George Miller and Sam Rami made a movie, Willy’s is what you would end up with. The Janitor is here too kickass and chug Throat Punch energy drink. To bad you can only drink one per hour before the stroke kicks in. Not much for talking The Janitor loves cleaning and pinball, he works hard and plays hard. Pity the furby that gets in the way.


Willys YouTube Trailer

Think of a horrifying nightmare where the rat from Chucky Cheese is sick of the little bastards peeing in his rathole. Sick of the parents complaining about the smell. Sick of kids rubbing gum in his fur. Sick of the terrible pizza, all the good games being out of order, the flat coke cola, the bad music, and that off key bitch Dolli Dimples.

In some ways this is a good “bad” movie that came out to late. The Banana Splits Movie (2020) felt more original and fresher. The final girl doesn’t have much to do. It’s the Nick show and everyone else isn’t important. The Janitor is a near perfect character, that explanation isn’t needed. But, questions are all over. It draws you in without going down the midichlorians rabbit hole.

A fun little movie, that seems to could’ve been much more. The third act drags a little bit. Emily Tosta who plays Liv didn’t have enough character development or given much to do. And if you don’t question much, especially the ending. Its worth the eighty-eight minutes to watch it.


Friday, October 30, 2020

The Wolf of Snow Hallow (2020) Movie Review

 


Very confusing movie, the description says Horror but the first act is mostly social commentary/observation. The police of Summit County have their first murder. Ill equipped to deal, the old sheriff whose job up to this point was to help little old lady’s across the street. When people start panicking old deputy dog wants no part of it. Up steps in nepotism at it’s finest.

 


Robert Forester plays that short time sheriff who wants to stay on long enough for his son to take over. Unfortunately, his son, Jim Cummings, is a self-consumed dunce. Along with most of the police force he hates how the public views them but than proves with utter incompetence and pompously haughty over egotistical arrogance. Only one that’s hip to the murder spree is Officer Julia Robson, Rikki Lindhome, but no one will listen to her cause that whole being a female thing.



Just remember there is no such thing as a werewolf, or is there? So this Halloween check out a horror movie that is weirdly so right for 2020. During the Minimoon, Hunter Moon, Blue Moon…. Oh shit the trifecta, it is going to be real this 31st. So , load the silver bullets, lock the doors, hide in your moms basement, the lycanthropes are going to be on some crazy moon beam crack. No one gets out of 2020 alive!